1) Trick or Treat! I’m Alan Greenspan
The thing that is really undermining America’s economic recovery is fear, said Alan Greenspan in the Financial Times back in October 2010: “Shortfalls in fixed capital investment… combined with a collapse of long-term illiquid investments by households… have defused much, if not most, of the impact of the administration’s fiscal stimulus.”
Wait a minute. He was blaming us! Isn’t Mr. Greenspan the guy who made that financial crisis possible? He fought derivatives regulation, kept interest rates too low, printed off too many US dollars… Once again a man passing the buck. Or is that a misconception and Alan Greenspan was merely another convenient scapegoat?
No matter, he became a scary monster. In fact, he’d make a good Halloween costume. Or jack-o-lantern.
Electric Asylum Art, “Halloween On Wall Street” (2008)
2) Forget Tea Candles, Give Me Thermite
Wow. That’s some damn good pumpkin carving. Very artistic. Put pumpkins in the hands of scientists, well then you get something else…
periodicvideos, “Pumpkin Chemistry – Halloween Special” (2009)
3) Scared By Scaredy Cats
Kittens can get into the Halloween spirit too, given the right incentives. And they’ve got readymade costumes…
sweetfurx4, “Kitten Duet: Spooky Halloween Music” (2009)
4) Fear Lurks
Not really scary enough though, are they? Let’s notch it up.
5) And The Only Escape Is Death
“Madhouse” only rated PG? Hey, it was the 70s. At least they had the good sense to give this early Cronenberg film an R rating.
David Cronenberg, “They Came From Within” (1975)
6) As In Pagan Rituals Of Old
Ever wondered why all the dark spirits, ghouls, zombies, witches, ghosts, blood and guts come the end of October? Give a listen to the condescending voiceover in this Halloween doc from the 90s.
Jeff Swimmer, “Haunted History of Halloween, 1/5” (1997)
7) We Dress Up In Scary Costumes
Ok, it’s a 3000 year-old Celtic tradition marking the coming of winter, a time when otherworldly creatures come to play tricks on us. So we honor them or scare them off by dressing up like them. Got it. Now, what scary, otherworldly creature can I dress up like this year?
Associated Press, “Uproar Over Halloween Costume” (2009)
8) Go Gaga For Gaga
A Halloween playlist has to include Lady Gaga. She’s otherworldly and this is Ryeberg. And Gaga costumes are, like, super easy.
popsugartv, “How to Be Lady Gaga for Halloween” (2010)
9) Or For The Old Standard
Haven’t got a cured-meat dress? Going to a party? Still need a costume? Hmm, what’s a woman to do?
break, “The Halloween Costume Song” (2009)
10) A Halloween Hallucination
What was it the Celts believed? About the thin boundary between the living world and the spirit world? Well, empathy with the bison this Halloween weekend.
Montana News, “Bison Chase” (2010)