Jowita Bydlowska

Sexual Reconnaissance, Drinking Out Of Cups

“Dan Deacon & Liam Lynch, Drinking Out Of Cups” (2006)

This video was sent to me by my friend Bunmi. She wrote: “This is short, fun and a little trippy.” Below hers was a message from the person who had sent it to her: “Allegedly the artist here recorded himself while on acid (or some other psychedelic) and then animated this snippet from the recording. I really liked it. Peace – mike.” Bunmi sent the video to me and two mutual friends.

I didn’t think about the possible ridicule I might receive from the group of friends to whom I sent the link next – I just knew they wouldn’t need an explanation for it. Sure enough, within a day I saw the video link being reposted on Facebook by some of those friends with their friends commenting on it, giving it the thumbs up.

Whenever I find a funny link, I immediately think up a list of people I can send it to, people who won’t reply with a terse “WTF.” So: Bunmi? For sure. Benjamin? Don’t know him well – he may think I’m flirting or that I am crazy.

E-sharing video links, even with people who we think will get it, is risky. Once I sent out that now-famous video of the little kid whose father taped him while the kid was coming off drugs after a dental procedure. One of the people in my trusted get it group was deeply offended by it. It felt as if we had just awkwardly made out. No, it was as if I had made a pass and she had turned me down. In other words – nobody was at fault, it was just bad timing, miscommunication, misreading of the signals.

And speaking of making out, “Drinking Out of Cups” is probably the type of a video I would’ve used in the past as my sexual reconnaissance. This means that it would’ve been the perfect video to send to a guy – not Benjamin – I was interested in but who I didn’t know well. I would tell him the background story and wait to see if he found it funny. If he were to reply with “I’m in love with seahorses. I’m in love with them, they’re so beautiful and cute. I’m in love with seahorses. They’re fucking unreal, I love them. They’re like all the clocks,” well, if the new friend were to respond this way, then we would have a connection.

– Jowita Bydlowska


“Drinking Out of Cups” was made by musicians Dan Deacon and Liam Lynch. And here’s the clip of the little kid post-dentist:

DAD, “David After Dentist” (2009)

Ryeberg Curator Bio

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Jowita Bydlowska was born in Warsaw, as in Poland. She moved to Canada as a teenager. That hurt. She got over it eventually and now she likes it in Canada. She's the author of "Drunk Mom," a memoir, "Guy," a novel, and "Possessed," also a novel. For fun she takes weird pictures, usually of herself, because she and herself are on the same page most of the time so it's just easier that way. More from Jowita Bydlowska here.